The mentality of “what will people say”
When I was young, I literally went out of my way to please people. I wanted to be the best in everything and was very worried if anyone criticized me. Suspiciousness is another quality of my youth.
I spent hours wondering: what did I do wrong and what am I to blame for? I think that I was not alone in my experiences, because almost all young people are characterized by youthful maximalism. And the elderly, too.
How can it be? Ho can you not care about what others would say? Usually people who live for themselves and do not pay attention to the opinions of others seem to be of very strange personalities. But in fact, this philosophy is the most correct, because we have one life.
No European country has such a large number of nervous and suspicious people as in the territory of the former USSR. Most likely, it’s about Soviet upbringing. The older generation constantly told their children and grandchildren: “Stop it! Everyone is looking at you!” and “What will a neighbor, friend, colleague, etc. think” Since childhood, an incorrect program has been loaded into the child’s brain, which continues its action into adulthood.
Now I’m already an adult, but I continue to observe the same picture in the upbringing of children. The USSR does not exist, the world has gone far ahead, and our kids continue to instill the importance of someone else’s opinion. Undoubtedly, it is very important to educate the younger generation. But the primary task is to grow a decent person out of a child, and not to impose fear of society and its opinion on him.
The mentality of “what will people say” has been forming in the minds of our compatriots for many decades. Rebuilding one’s consciousness is a rather laborious process, so the fears of previous generations are still transmitted to young people.
Modern life teaches us to live for ourselves, but even now there are people who are afraid of criticism and disapproval. Recently I heard a phrase that I really liked: “Worry doesn’t free you from the worries of tomorrow, it robs you of today’s peace of mind.” I do not know who these words belong to, but they are brilliant.
There are several acquaintances in my environment who dream of being perfect. I can imagine how hard life is for them. They have a real leader complex – they passionately want to become the best. This is certainly a laudable aspiration, but if it goes beyond the limits, it becomes a disease. Such people try to please everyone – partner, boss, friends…They silently listen to criticism, although they do not agree with it at all. They don’t even have a thought to object – because then they might be thought badly of.
All these experiences make life simply unbearable. You won’t be good and right for everyone anyway. Over the years, thoughts began to arise in my head: who needs all these nerves and worries? With our experiences, we only make it worse for ourselves and spoil our health. One person will want me to behave this way, and the other will want me to behave differently. It is impossible to adapt to each person. The best way out is to be yourself under any circumstances.
At the time, Anthony Hopkins’ brilliant statement helped me a lot: “You don’t have to wait and ask for anything. It is worth taking everything in this life calmly. I think this way: “I don’t care what people say about me – it’s not my business. I am who I am and I’m not going to change. I do what I want, just for fun — that’s how this game works. It’s just a game of life, and there are no winners and losers, there is no need to prove anything. Don’t try too hard. What is all this for?”.
In my experience, thanks to Hopkins’ advice, life changes. It literally transforms, and you don’t recognize yourself – you no longer let through all the human negativity and don’t waste your energy, but live for yourself.